Today's world pulls at us in a thousand different directions. We get absorbed into the chaos with each scroll on our phones. It's no wonder that research shows social media is detrimental to mental health. We weren't meant to be bombarded with emotions and feelings at such an intense rate. It is hard for our nervous systems to process and leads to neglecting and abandoning yourself even more, yet you likely find yourself scrolling to try to soothe your already dysregulated system. It is a habit designed for failure and it is time to reclaim yourself and your life again.
I've had several clients tell me they feel lost, like they no longer know who they are, what they like, or even what they want. I know they are not alone. Many of us experience this. It creates an identity crisis within and yet instead of turning inward most of the time we allow life to pull us in whatever direction it wants. We focus on others and wear the hat of the caretaker tending to everyone else trying to satiate that inner void that feels needy and neglected, and yet even though we our pouring out love and compassion, there's a lingering emptiness. This is the sting of self-abandonment.
Those moments of reaching outside the self, tending to others, ignoring the inner feelings and filling the void with things like doom-scrolling, all of these things add up... to neglecting yourself. Even though it was unintentional, it is felt, and you likely feel that sting just reading it. Stay with me though because we're going to work through it.
Let's start changing this, by returning home to yourself. This doesn't mean you have to stop helping others and being your compassionate self, we're just going to shift some of that compassion to you, because you are worthy and deserving of your love too.
Start your day devoted to you. Not scrolling. Not caretaking. Even if you have to set your alarm 5 minutes early. Start your day with a simple practice devoted to you so you can move through the rest of your day with a connection back to self.
The Practice
- Place a hand on your belly and one on your heart.
- Allow yourself space to just breathe and feel. Breathing into the belly slowly and exhaling slowly at a nice even pace.
- Let yourself tune in to what is under the surface. Is there tension? An emotion? Get curious with exploring what you are feeling.
- Ask this wise inner self what you want to feel. Some of the most popular ones I hear are: Peace, Calm, Happy. Just a simple one word feeling.
- As you breathe imagine breathing more of that feeling into the body. Let yourself dream up a place or person that taps you into this feeling even more. Just breathe and be with that feeling, letting it anchor you. Let that word be the word you come back to throughout the day to tune back into this grounded and centered feeling within yourself. Practice it daily. You'll notice things shifting in just a few days.
The practice simple, but that doesn't mean it's easy. You'll be challenged by your mind telling you to do other things, to be busy, to fight the stillness and the settling. You'll want to choose sleep and the comfortable patterns you are use to. You'll want to repeat the self-abandonment practices you've gotten familiar with because it's already known, but this is your chance at rediscovering you. You've got to empower yourself to do the things that help you. You've got to work through those inner shadow pieces that rise to the surface and make you doubt yourself. Here's the real truth, I already know you are more than strong enough to do it because you've been strong enough to survive this far. It is time to let yourself soften and trust that you've got your own back now. And if you need a community of support, we're right here with you, carrying the lantern to light your way because we've been there. Find our community group on FaceBook at SoulWise with Jena for more practices, connection, and community.
Positive affirmations can be a powerful tool for many, but they may not yield the same results for everyone. This discrepancy can be particularly understood through the lens of somatic therapy, which emphasizes the connection between the mind and body. Here are several reasons why positive affirmations might not work for everyone, especially when the mind is preoccupied with overthinking:
1. Cognitive Dissonance
When affirmations conflict with deeply held beliefs or negative self-perceptions, they can create cognitive dissonance. This internal conflict can lead to resistance rather than acceptance, making it difficult for the affirmations to take root.
2. Overactive/Monkey Mind
Individuals who tend to overthink may find it challenging to internalize positive affirmations. Their busy minds can drown out the affirmations, making it hard to focus on the positive messages being conveyed. It is hard for the mind to focus on a new belief when it is so busy running different narratives.
3. Emotional Blockages
Somatic therapy highlights the importance of emotional experiences stored in the body. If a person has unresolved trauma or emotional blockages, affirmations may trigger an emotional response in the body, causing further upset to the nervous system.
4. Lack of Authenticity
For some, affirmations may feel forced or inauthentic. If the individual does not truly believe in the affirmation, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy or self-doubt, which can exacerbate negative thought patterns.
5. Need for Somatic Integration
Somatic therapy emphasizes the importance of body awareness and physical sensations. Positive affirmations may be more effective when combined with somatic practices that help individuals connect with their bodies and emotions, allowing for a more holistic approach to healing.
6. Repetition Without Reflection
Simply repeating affirmations without taking the time to reflect on their meaning or relevance can lead to superficial engagement. Deep, reflective practice is often necessary for affirmations to resonate and create lasting change.
7. Individual Differences
Each person has unique psychological and emotional landscapes. What works for one individual may not work for another due to varying life experiences, personality traits, and coping mechanisms.
While positive affirmations can be beneficial, they are not a one-size-fits-all solution. Understanding the role of the mind-body connection in somatic therapy can provide valuable insights into why affirmations may not work for everyone, particularly for those who struggle with overthinking. A more integrated approach that includes somatic awareness and emotional processing may enhance the effectiveness of affirmations, but also teach you better practices that will work for you and the way your nervous system responds. Check out the Somatic Reset Coaching package if you'd like to work together to find tailored solutions for your needs.
